Sunday, February 28, 2010

I blame science

Physical attraction is a complicated subject, one which has caused many women, like me, to choose ill-suited bachelors as the ones they most desire.

As stated in the previous post, in the past, physical attraction has been the leading determinant in the men I have dated.

And I wonder, why?

Why am I attracted to gentleman dickhead over gentleman nice guy?

Am I a masochist who enjoys punishing herself over and over again?

Am I simply a superficial bitch who loves on looks alone?

Or can science save me, and reaffirm my decision?

I think it can.

I like science.

Always made an A in Biology.

Thus I began researching ‘physical attractiveness.

My findings are shocking.

If you aren’t sitting down, I suggest you take a seat.

I began my scearch with scent.

Stereotypically, Jews are known to have large schnozes, which in the aspect of dating can be a positive, considering that smell is one the key elements of attraction.

According to some, smell trumps the sense of sight.

Good thing.

I’m practically blind.


Like many Jewish women, my nose has been improved, straightened, realigned. This may have increased my number of potential mates, but may have also hindered my own ability to correctly pick a bocher.


Because, each person has their own ‘scent’ that their body naturally produces, known as pheromones.

In other species, these pheromones play an extremely important role in mating.
One such species is the female silkworm moth.

In his book, The Lives of a Cell, Lewis Thomas wrote on the extreme influence of the female moth’s chemical pheromone, known as bombykol.

"It has been soberly calculated that if a single female moth were to release all the bombykol in her sac in a single spray, all at once, she could theoretically attract a trillion males in the instant.’

Oy Vai! That’s one fragrant female.

Personally, I wouldn’t want to attract that many mates.

I’d settle with just one.

Female hamsters, rats, and mice also secrete pheromones in order to attract a sexual partner, but as for Humans the presence of said hormone is still questionable.

But-studies show that another’s odor does influence attraction.

Unbeknownst to many women, their choices regarding a mate may be greatly influenced by the pheromones emitted by other men.

Once a bocher’s smell hits a young lady’s nostrils, chemicals instantly react and send signals to the area of the brain that manages emotions.

These pheromones then react with the male’s MHC (Major Histocompatibility Complex), which is one picky set of genes, but with good reason.

These genes play a major role in the immune system’s ability to fight off diseases.

Women typically choose men whose MHC’s are dissimilar to their own, because, we are geniuses who intuitively know that these mates are more likely to produce healthier offspring.

In the 1990s a group of Swedish scientists tested this hypothesis with 49 females smelling the t-shirts of 44 men who had been required to wear only this t-shirt for 48 hours.

For 2 days, these men ate, drank, slept, fornicated, and pissed in only this t-shirt.

In the end, they reeked of their own MHC.

Their lingering odor was impossible to ignore.

Not surprisingly, after getting a whiff of each t-shirt, the women picked the t-shirts of those with dissimilar MHC.
and this is a huge, gigantic one- bigger than the size of Kim Kardashian’s-

Women on birth control preferred men with SIMILAR MHC’s.

So, technically I could blame my birth control for forcing me to choose douches.

BUT- without these tiny colorful pills-I risk getting knocked up.

And, even if it’s the ‘right’ man, I’m 25 and in no hurry to hop aboard the train to.
In the end, I don’t know which is better.

Truly, I am fucked.

Moving on to symmetry…

Symmetry- another scientific word- refers to the balance of proportions-which for some strange reason greatly affects human’s preference towards one another.

More specifically, facial symmetry-and here it’s all about proportions.

When anyone-guy or girl-rates a potential partner they are looking to see if all aspects of the face are proportionate to one another.

For example, the male celebrity with the highest facial symmetry is Brad Pitt-

Shocking, I know.

For females, it is Elizabeth Hurley and Kate Moss.

Wow, they are so hideous, thank you science.

But, why do we care so much about proportions…

Yet again, it’s all about those babies, and having them…

Somehow good symmetry proves that the man you are staring at has the genetic goods needed to produce healthy offspring.

I keep telling myself that I’m just looking for ‘Mr. Right Now,’ yet my brain and body are steering me in the direction of those whose sperm is at the top of its game.

Well that’s fantastic, but I highly doubt that his sperm is going to hold me while I cry, or make me laugh with its humor.

To this I say, Schtuss (Bullshit).

I started this journey out of a nagging need to understand why I wasn’t quite sure if I liked Bocher #5 1/2.

Maybe it’s his smell.

Maybe it’s his symmetry.

Maybe it’s the birth control.

That’s a lot of Maybes.

So,maybe I just don't know.


  1. Haha... I recently read, somewhere, that when you start blaming something else for your troubles, you fail.

    Since I know you're a smart lady, I'll show you a few book suggestions that might assist you in your search for the truth. I recommend the following:

    Secrets of Female Sexuality by David Shade
    Dangerous Men and Adventurous Women by Jayne Ann Krentz
    Unlimited Selling Power by Donald Moine and Kenneth Lloyd
    Why Men Love Bitches by Sherry Argov

    Lastly, and you may or may not have ever done this exercise, but have ever made a list of what you want in a man? (it works for what men want in a woman, too) What you do is make a list, then pick out the qualities versus the quantities. E.g. quantities: makes X per year, athletic, Jewish, etc. Qualities: Kind, determined, honest, etc.

    Then for all of the quantities, you write down why those are important for you. That is, what do *you specifically* get from being with someone with those quantities? What you'll deduce is the quality associated with it. i.e.:
    Makes X per year - Security
    Athletic - inspires you (e.g. to be healthy)
    Jewish - Dad would like - sense of belonging, identity

    Then, you do two things: 1) Figure out which qualities are most important to you. The idea behind finding qualities versus quantities is that, over time, they either influence your perception of the qualities, or have the potential to change the quantities themselves. Figure out your own hierarchy of importance and you'll know exactly what you're looking for and why. 2) see if you can provide yourself with some of those qualities that you may think you'll need someone else for, and change that in yourself.

    I forget where I heard about this exercise or I would cite it.


  2. I just realized I made an error, it should say "...perception of the quantities."